Working through it

I read or heard a few weeks ago that the best way to work through something is not in fact to talk about it, but rather to write it out. That the brain handles "trauma" better and reconfigures it for us by the process of writing. This idea has popped up in my brain a handful of times since I received it as something I should make effort to do for myself. Lord knows I'm "action packed with issues". I know I previously tried to dump my thoughts and process my issues through my blog, but stopped when it was called up in my divorce proceedings. I think I may try again, you know when I stop making excuses and avoid my issues, when work and home don't feel like their sucking my soul, etc.

Turkey Leg McGee

Ok, I'm ready for him to come home now.

Pain

I'm tired of it. The random never ending cycle of pain. If I lost weight again, I would probably not hurt as much. I have a hard time exercising because of said pain. Doctors look at me like I'm making it up. I just want to curl up in my bed. Prescription strength Naproxen isn't cutting it. Please shoot me?

New Ink

Over It

I am so over today and it isn't even 10 am. Crap sleep, sore, period REstarted with cramps anew, I've been pissed at Drew for days, dog puke everywhere, super grumpy baby (possible teething as drool and hand chewing has kicked up a few notches and he doesn't want to eat), calcium deposit hurts, stressed about wedding/how to video/money/etc., always sassy Turkey, and every time I found a song I wanted on my iPhone (now used as an iPod) it would decide to restart and skip to another song. Yes, ridiculous I know, but combined it makes for a pissy Amy.

Being Discouraged

Every time I step on the Wii my heart catches in my chest. "Please don't go up, please don't go up" is like a mantra in my brain. So to remind myself that I have made some small changes in my body and it's not all for naught the round up of the past near two months on weight watchers.

Weight lost: 4 lbs

Inches from my hips lost: 3

Inches from my bust lost: 2

Inches from my thighs lost: 2

Dress sizes gone down: Nearly 2

So even though it feels like I've accomplished nothing and have been working so hard, I have lost a little bit. Yes, the losses are small. I have to remember that my baby is barely 4 months old, that my hormones just started to work their way out of my body to allow me to lose weight, that I may have a hernia, that four months ago I was on bedrest and lost so much muscle mass and flexibility, that I have been working out and eating healthier and that it is a great thing for my boys to see, and that today when I did my yoga I did improve from previous times. Maybe this week I'll have another loss (lord knows my confidence needs it)

Next steps

So I am going to go to Fort Lauderdale for Vista training in August. I'm a little nervous and overwhelmed. This position is definitely going to take me out of my comfort zone. I know I'm capable, and I keep telling myself that it's a great experience not only professionally but personally. So to calm my mind and nerves I found some links that give a better idea of what I'm about to do and the people I'm doing it with.

http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/bringing-tech-knowledge-to-nonprofits.html

http://www.handsonnetwork.org/

http://www.google.com/nonprofits/

http://www.americorps.gov